


See Right Through Me

by scifigeek14



Series: Conversations [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Brotherly Bonding, Gen, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), but shippers are welcome anyway, not going to bother tagging thorki in this one cause they are literally talking about their mom, this story in the series was a prompt!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 11:18:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14043099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scifigeek14/pseuds/scifigeek14
Summary: Loki wonders when he became so transparent.





	See Right Through Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [valfromrome](https://archiveofourown.org/users/valfromrome/gifts).



> Yay I decided to make it a series! 
> 
> Prompt by valfromrome who wanted them to talk about their mother.

“What are you doing?” Thor’s voice came from behind him. Loki didn’t flinch, but it was a near thing. He shifted his gaze in the mirror to just over his shoulder where Thor was standing in the doorway. It reminded him of the way in which he’d approached Thor when he’d arrived on the ship that was to be their temporary home.

“Its rude to sneak up on people.” Loki scolded, rolling his eyes and shifting his gaze back to his own reflection.

“Says the god of tricks and illusions. How many times have you snuck up on me?”

“It’s the god of mischief; at least get my title right.” Loki frowned, but both he and Thor knew he wasn’t upset.

“My point still stands, as does my question. What are you doing? You’ve been staring at the mirror for 20 minutes.” He felt Thor walking up behind him and could see his image moving closer in the mirror to the left of his own image. Looking at them, they looked as opposite as day and night.

“I didn’t realize you were there watching.”

“Exactly.” Thor’s voice was warm, but there was a strength like steel behind it. Loki sighed. There would be no way of avoiding the truth. He wondered when Thor had learned to see right through him.

“I was wondering who Hela’s mother was.” He admitted. “Certainly not Frigga.”

“No, certainly not,” Thor agreed easily, “and with both her and father gone, and Asgard’s history records aflame, we may never know. Unless, maybe Valkyrie knows. We could ask her. But why the sudden interest?”

“She had dark hair.” To someone who didn’t know Loki like Thor did, it would have sounded like he was done speaking after making this observation. Thor, however, could see that there were more thoughts swirling behind his brother’s clenched teeth, and he had a pretty good idea where Loki’s head was. He waited. “She and _I_ looked more like siblings than you and her. And we certainly shared the trait of tending towards chaos.”

“Chaos isn’t the same thing as destruction.”  Thor interrupted. But, Loki ignored him.

“I wonder if she took after her mother. I wonder if I took after my mother.” Thor stepped forward and turned away from the mirror to lean his back against it, crossing his arms and observing his brother. His bulky figure filled up Loki’s periphery.

“I’ve always thought you took after _our_ mother.”

“Our fair-haired mother? Me?” Loki snorted. “Are you sure you aren’t thinking of yourself? You are rather self-centered.” Thor laughed at Loki’s response. His laugh caused Loki to finally look over at Thor and he found himself startled by the joy crinkling at the corners of his eyes— well, his eye.

“I think that it was clear to everyone in Asgard who took after whom in our family, or it used to be, back then. How young were we when we were separated to train?” Thor started to reminisce. “I remember when Father pulled me aside and told me that I wouldn’t be going to lessons with you anymore, that if I wanted to be a warrior, like him, I needed special training. And, of course, back then, I wanted to be just like him.”

“I know. I hated it.” Loki agreed with a wry twist of his lips. “I used to pour so much effort into my seiðr training that I’d wear myself out. I remember mother telling me not to push myself so much. But I wanted to prove that I was better: a better fighter or person or heir. Something to make father notice me, to let me train with you and him and the warriors.”

“I never knew. I thought you loved your magic training.”

“I hated it. Magic is natural to our people, you know that. It’s used every day in work and art and building. But to focus on it over skills for battle was something not considered typical for royalty, at least, not male royalty. Even our mother, who was a master of magic, trained as a fighter before she married Odin.”

“I didn’t know that either. Why didn’t I know that?”

“You were oblivious. You still are.”

“I’m getting better.”

“Maybe.” Loki allowed. “But, it always felt shameful to me, being tucked away with my books and magic. Its why I would sneak away and join you and the warriors on adventures whenever I could.”

“Or drag us into your pranks.”

“Or that.” Loki felt a fond smile bloom on his lips. “Volstagg once told me that I wouldn’t go to Valhalla when I died because it was only for heroes and warriors, not for treacherous silver-tongued tricksters like me.” Loki felt a shiver of satisfaction when he saw Thor’s eyes widen in shock. He knew that Thor would never speak ill of the dead, but it was nice to see that Thor was clearly thinking some choice words.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized, perhaps on behalf of his friend, perhaps for not noticing the abuse and stepping in to stop it. “But it just always seemed like you took so much pride in it.”

“I did… eventually. It started as a bluff, but it became a real pride over time. And now, with mother gone, when I practice my seiðr it helps me to feel a connection to her. She taught me her tricks.”

“She did. I was always jealous: of your control over your seiðr and of your time spent with mother. Since her passing I find myself regretting time not spent with her.”

Thor suddenly looked so saddened that Loki had to look away. This was why he didn’t like to talk about their mother, or even think about her. He, at any given time, tried to keep all thoughts of Frigga far from his mind. Loki looked at his fingers and tried not to think about the last time he had held his mother’s hand.

“It’s my fault, that she isn’t here now.”  He said, admitting out loud for the first time the thought that had plagued him for so long. He continued before Thor could interrupt, not knowing if he would be strong enough to let it all out if he was stopped even for a moment. “When that monster was escaping the prison, there was a moment when he seemed like he was going to free me. He looked me in the eye and I stood there, trying to decide what I would do if he did—if I would join him and seek revenge, or if I’d try to stop him and, in doing so, perhaps gain favor back, or if I even wanted either of those things.

“I think that he could see I was conflicted because he left me locked away. And, in response, I sent him in the direction of the throne room. I thought he’d find you there or Odin. I decided to let fate run its course, either he’d kill one or both of you before he was stopped, thus quelling my rage, or he wouldn’t and it wouldn’t matter. I ended up sending him straight to mother.” Thor only paused to take in the new information for a moment before responding.

“You’ve been carrying that burden awhile, brother. I hope you will walk lighter now.” Thor reached out to slap a palm against Loki’s upper arm and kept it there until Loki looked at him again. “He would have found that room eventually anyway. And by that logic, blame Jane, or me even, for bringing the aether to Asgard in the first place. No, the only one to blame is Malekith. Mother loved you, not in spite of who you were, but because of it, she would not want you blaming yourself.”

“Did she suffer?” Loki asked again, his voice sounding small to his own ears. This time, Thor answered.

“No, Loki. So do not do the suffering for her.”

“I hate that I wasn’t there… to say goodbye.”

“You were there for father. And one day you will be there for me.” He said with an ease that lifted Loki’s chin.

“Or you me.” He agreed.

“Or us for each other. And then we’ll all be together again in the halls of Valhalla.” The topic was morbid, but they both were smiling. Thor was practically beaming, thinking about the way he’d always imagined that he would die by Loki’s side in a glorious battle. He’d almost given up hope that they would be fighting on the same side when that happened, instead of against each other. He was less worried about it now.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave prompts for convos you want to see. Doesn't have to all be between Thor and Loki
> 
> Upcoming additions to this series:  
> Thor & Loki (2x)  
> Thor & Valkyrie  
> Loki & Korg !! :D


End file.
